Love, Spirituality, and Moving.

Ok, so I'm pretty sure I'm in love. I am far too spooked to say definately. Feel like I'll jinx it.

It's a tremendous emotion with way too much thinking and a whole lot of questions, and many sighs for no apparent reason.

I love this man. Trully and deeply, and it's hard to understand, but I do... understand I mean. It just feels right. Comfortable as hell. How can he say all the right things so often? Its wrought from a connection I cannot explain. He's my best friend and well onto the greatest lover I've had... Time is the only thing needed to earn that title.

It's the saying the right things that really just leaves me speachless. How do you form a response to that?

He's nearly exactly what I need, when I need it, all the time I need it. Almost... Just enough times he'll say something off the wall, or avoid a subject, or whatever- be human! And that's a good thing too becuase it means he's not perfect or infallible. I couldn't deal with perfect.

I'm in awe. That's the easy way to say it. I could go on about not being able to describe it. That's sort of true, but very cliche. I have plenty of words that apply. Just none that sum it up.

Comfort is a good one, love is a great one, but over used by many people. So it may convey very well to me what I'm feeling, but others wont get it. How about connection? I mentioned that earlier...

That sorta leads into the spiritual portion of this. I feel it. Like it was tangible. Like something passes between us without ever touching. I'm spending a lot of time re-evaluating what I think and believe about the world around me. Strengthening old ideas, abandoning others, and collecting some new things.

David and I are very connected, but I feel we have the potential to be even more so- or at least function more in what's already there.

It's weird. If I think, "I want a hug" he will usually come up and hug me. Things like that happen ALL THE TIME. I think I want him to do something and he does it.

A few nights ago I had a nightmare. This was one of the few times he didn't pick up on it.

I can't remember what happened in the dream, but I remember waking up and feeling like I couldn't move. I didn't want to yell, the boys (David's kids) were in the other room asleep.

So, I'm thinking as loud as I can, "Come here!"

He was playing a video game. He didn't hear me.

It took a LOT to move, but finally I did and went into the livingroom. He turned around right away- looked like he was going to give me the usual happy greeting- instead his face went all worried and he asked me what was wrong.

I refused to go into the room- he seems to have a gift for dealing with things so I told him I wanted him to check it out. I went first, but as soon as I stepped a foot into the place it felt ominous and I backed the fuck out. He said it felt like something HAD been there, but was gone right now.

I then asked what kind of protection was on the apartment. He looked at me a little funny and said none. So I said I didn't know what to do because I'd never been the one to do the protection- it was my parents way, or Scott's way, I had no way that was mine.

In the end he balanced the walls, it's the only way I can describe it. I kept feeling like the wall the bed is against was open, and it was freaking me out. He said that one felt like there was a gaping hole in it. It took the longest to balance, or close if you will.

I've talked with my ex, he says he thinks it's just this area at this time of year. I'm not the first to tell him something was going on.

He's recomended laying down protection on the whole place. "Smudge" is what he said specifically.

If I'm to make his apartment my home as well, then I need to be comfortable. I'm in a nesting sort of mode and I think it will help me out.

I've got a tone of stuff to do and moving in sucks.

Blarg, I'm done for now.

TPR Musing

So, TPR is going to have a pretty flash animated site with all the bells and whistles.

The guys actually hired somebody- I can't wait!

As the Art Monkey, I'll be sending my drawr-ings to the designer guys and they will animate them!

It'll be fun... I wonder if/when we will do some cartoons.

Oh yeah...

And, to get this blog kicked-off right, here's what I look like.

See, kinda like the comic representation of me... kinda...

My eyes are trippy...

Hair isn't so orange now sadly. More or a red/auburn.

Project Ramblings

I do the comics for The Popcorn Review. We're currently on MySpace, and will be having an official website soon. This comic is a new thing I implimented called "Quickies" because once the guys saw I could do 6 panels, that's all they think in. [http://www.myspace.com/thepopcornreview]

This particular one is in response to my not getting them comics on time. Shit happens. That's the jist of it.

Projects: I'm going to be at some convention in April. Dom, the guy I'm sharing a table with, hasn't emailed me back and I have a terrible memory, but I plan on having at least one published comic by then. When I have the name/location/etc. I'll post it. Not that I have any readers for this blog yet, but things change.

This image on the right is one of my many, MANY, characters. Neith is robot, assasin/hunter kinda thing with an Egyptian theme. Sections of my art folders are clogged with spec details on her helmet and glider-wings which aren't pictured here.

She wont be showing her angry face till much later in the series.

The comic is going ot be a pet project of mine. I might have some TPR merch when I go to the convention. More on that will be on the MySpace page.

I'm rambling, and my break is almost over. Go me.

~Shawn

Older Images

I figure I'll put a few older images up that I happen to have here. Make it look a little fuller.

This one I drew shortly after the 2005 San Diego Comic Con.

I forgot to bring my sketch book, so I ran out and bought one. I mention this because the second picture in the book was drawn by "Gabe" of Penny Arcade.

I mention that because it's a thought that dawned on me while I was thinking, "When/what/where" about this particular picture.

Just my "fursona" in a funny pose. Was working on developing my "style" there and like that one. I am totally rambling now. I just got back from California (24 hour trip by car- yuck) and while I've had a day to recover, I haven't quite recovered yet. Lunch break is running late because it was catered and they took a while to get us our food.

This other image is same character, but wearing MY pirate costume. My jacket doesn't look quite as good.

I'm really diggin' this while book-style layout for putting up my pictures. S'pretty schnazzy.

I feel the need to mention that I am not a "furry" but I enjoy the genre. I hate being pegged into that whole "sicko" role of the fandom. I grew up watching Bugs Bunny and Mickey Mouse. I appriciate those cartoons. I draw them, I have one that is escentially ME, but I do not want to be an animal, I don't harbor any "perverse sexual lust" toward them. So, yeah, please enjoy my art without labeling me improperly. I appriciate it.

~Shawn

It Begins!

So, I'm at work and I figure, "why not?"

I think I'll post art and stuff here and only share with a few people 'cause I want an outlet, but MySpace is where I keep in touch with family as well as friends... Some stuff you just don't want to say.

Blah.